George W. Bush Memoirs Slated for November: "Decision Pints" Not "Points"

America Asks: “Who’s Writing It?”

By Joe Bodolai © 2010 All rights reserved

Cheney Administration spokesman George W. Bush has a "real high school-sized" real hard cover book coming out this November. The memoir, expected to be full of lies begins with the name of the author. The title Decision Points is based on the term “decision pints” used by the staff when they would bet on how many “pints” of beer that he would consume before he found out what his decision was told to him.

It is likely that Bush would be involved in the book in some way, such as selecting photos, approving of the font used, etc. In order to give Bush the illusion that he is actually “writin’ a book”, Cheney has given him a large newsprint pad and some markers for him to attempt to write some anecdotes that would be used as photo captions, which sources said is “pretty much all he reads when you give him a “college type” book.”

One passage that is expected to be completely re-written “with school type words” is Bush’s description of his (sic) foreign policy:“Whenever we see something another country has that we want, or Israel tells us to get it for them, you gotta come out bombin’ then keep on kickin’ ‘em when they’re down, then move in so they can’t get their stuff back.”

Bush’s love of books is mainly evidenced by the fact that his wife Laura was a librarian, and his comments on reading My Pet Goat to second graders in Florida as the World Trade Center was bombed: “I wish I could have finished reading it. We were getting to an exciting part when the goat left the pen. I still don’t know what happened to him! But he probably was gonna get eaten somewhere they eat goat, like maybe Boston or Canada or, heck, I don't know. You ever have barbecued goat ribs? Y'see what I'm sayin'? There's a time for goat and there's a time for politics.

It is also worth noting that Bush’s Secret Service detachment gave him exra time to read since it is normal procedure for the Secret Service to immediately whisk the “President” away to safetly immediately when there is an attack. Some claim this implied foreknowledge of the attacks and knowledge Bush would have no need to be protected.

Bush at the Beijing Olympics
The book will likely also highlight Bush’s foreign affairs skills by his trip to the Beijing Olympics which he celebrated in high spirits. Emphasis on “high” as well as “spirits.”

For those who don't recall, here is George W. Bush's "farewell address", truthified by me.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cCadWqH0CM&fmt=22]

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