We all need a laugh. My take on Sarah Palin's Big Speech:

What Really Happened

By Don Brown

The Republican Party seems to have boxed itself into a corner with Palin's nomination a stunning victory for the true believers in St. Paul, but met with a collective "huh?" by the rest of us.

A tone-deaf and cynical move meant to attract hordes of women has been met with hostility by most feminists. McCain's "quick pick" seems unvetted and Barack Obama's favorable numbers have risen above 50% for the first time during the Republican Convention.

Not a good sign.

What to do?

I can imagine this scenario when she speaks later today:

Sarah Palin appears for her speech radiant and flush with pride...looking like newlywed..er, poor choice of words. She goes on to give a red meat, "John McCain is God" stemwinder of a speech. Tears are flowing, cowboy hats are waving, and when the house is on its feet screaming their heads off, she drops the BOMB...

She must WITHDRAW her name because the big bad media has made her daughter Bristol a nervous wreck AND FOR THE SAKE OF THE BABY, to which they will finally give a normal name, "John", after Senator McCain...or Joan...whatever... she MUST return to the wilds of Alaska to heal.

Tearfully she flees the stage, leaving stunned silence in the hall and not a dry in the house....

CNN, PBS, CBS, MSNBC, ABC, realizing the danger, break down the equipment in a flash and flee the building with cameras in hand before the mob can turn their wrath on the elitist press corps. Torches in hand, the well-heeled horde storms the Situation Room.

Gloria Borger loses a heel as she scrambles toward the exit. Campbell Brown barely makes it out of the building alive. Keith Olberman trips over a klieg light and is soon swallowed by the mob. Gone.

Fox, untouched, catches it all on camera with an exclusive.

Problem solved, McCain takes that stage, raises his hands...sort of...to still the crowd....and offers the VP position to Joe Lieberman.

Slowly they turn to him....and start to advance. FADE-OUT

THE END...literally


Don Brown is a film and television producer living and working in Hawaii. He can be reached at Over the Rainbow Productions

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